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Welcome to the Rotten School. We are proud of our school, founded years ago by I. B. Rotten. If you follow the rules, we know your time here will be happy. Rotten School 3 The - [Free] Rotten School 3 The [PDF] [EPUB] Brian February 4, ), better known by the ring name Axl Rotten, was an. Is Belzer a loser?Just because he wears T-shirts that say I need a Tutor and Ask Me About My Allergies?Just because he picks scabs off his knees and eats the.

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Rotten School has 31 entries in the series. Rotten School (Series). Book 1. R.L. Stine Author Trip Park Illustrator (). cover image of The Big Blueberry. “Do all worms come from Ohio?” he muttered. “Even Gummi Worms? That's just totally Toledo—know what I mean?” Wes is the coolest dude at Rotten School. For one thing, I love being at Rotten School. You poor thing. You probably have to go home every day after school. But Rotten School is a boarding school.

Party Poopers Rotten School, No. Go, Bernie! Duck Plop. My Biggest Eault. Three Nostrils? Bernie Breath. The Coolest Dude.

It was raining feathers in the room! Why does he have to wipe your nose? You have to go. Do you mean it, Bernie? I had tears in my eyes. My stomach felt as tight as a knot.

I waited till all the kids were on their way to dinner in the Dining Hall. I was too upset. I set the cage down in the grass next to the door. I blew Lippy a kiss. I almost changed my mind. I had to leave my bad luck behind. I blew him another kiss, forced myself to turn away—and ran all the way back to Rotten House. Bernie—come here a minute. Heinie stopped me at the stairs. Was this good luck or bad? You know I like to study for at least six hours every night.

I want to learn, learn, learn! He just writes it down. Heinie said. You did such a wonderful mopping job. I think you deserve an extra dessert tonight!

I thanked Mrs. Heinie and hurried to the Dining Hall. On the way, I found a crisp dollar bill lying in the grass. More good luck! And two desserts waiting for me! Could life get any better? Later that night, I even found my spare set of glasses. I sat in my room watching Belzer do my homework.

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I looked up when I heard a knock at the door. I know how crazy you are about this bird! Angel giggled. Then he set the cage down and hurried away. Another knock on the door. Heinie poked her head in. Bad luck.

Bad luck for Bernie B. Bad-Luck Lippy was back. I tried to run, but Jennifer Ecch tackled me from behind and dropped me to the ground. Rotten Trophy. Just the ones I could bring from home. She leaned over me and narrowed her brown eye and her blue eye to slits. More arm cracking? Pretzel bending? I need my arms to play Uno! Then she gave my hand one last, long, sticky lick with her big cow tongue and thundered off to class. No way we can win, I thought sadly. Not with Bad-Luck Lippy around.

The Ecch will be cracking my arms into talcum powder. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I ran back to the dorm and picked up Lippy in his cage. I carried the cage to the middle of R.

Dumm Field, our soccer field.


I pulled open the cage door and lifted my sweet parrot out. Then I held him in both hands in front of me. My whole body was trembling. But I had no choice. I raised Lippy high—and tossed him into the sky. Fly away! Fly away, free! But I watched Lippy flap his wings and fly. He sailed up to the clouds, turned, and flew away.

I brushed away my tears. Heinie said all morning. At lunch in the Dining Hall, my stomach was doing somersaults. My friend Beast dipped his head into my plate 64 and gobbled down my entire lunch. Beast does that to everyone. I was too upset over my tragic loss.

When I got outside, I realized Beast had also eaten my shirt! So I made my way back to Rotten House. I wished I could be happy, too. What have I done? And there sat Lippy on his perch by the open window. I ran across the room with outstretched arms. Bad Luck Lippy strikes again. Forget the hug. The bird had to go! I bandaged my knees. Then I picked up the squawking bad-luck bird and carried him outside. The Bernie B. But maybe. No one around. I turned and crossed R. Dumm Field.

Some third graders had an air soccer game going. Can you imagine playing soccer without a ball?! I followed the path across the Great Lawn. I heard a growl and saw Beast down on all fours, chasing a squirrel. Maybe Beast would like a pet, I thought. But no. Bad idea. Beast ate a chipmunk last week on a dare. He was standing in the middle of a crowd of kids.

Sherman, my old buddy. What do you give a kid who already has everything? A bad-luck parrot, of course. Sherman was showing off, as usual.

The kids were all oohing and aahing as Sherman demonstrated his new, solid gold cell phone. Should I give Lippy to him and change his luck? How great would that be?

The idea got me so excited, I squeezed Lippy a little too hard. He made a gagging sound and spit up some yellow 7O gunk onto my school blazer. I pushed my way through the crowd. This is your lucky day! Sherman let out a cry of surprise. He raised the phone to his ear. Who is this? You can have him for free. Go ahead.

Take him. But I knew I had to keep trying. Bernie B. Except when a little white lie might help smooth things out. Like maybe now.

Lippy is a good-luck charm. Because I always have Lippy with me. I finally had him hooked. Sherman turned and walked off smiling, with Lippy squawking on his shoulder. With that bad-luck bird gone, I could feel the good luck flowing back to me. I pumped my fists into the air. I did a little celebration dance. Across the lawn, Sherman tripped over a garden hose and fell flat on his perfectly tanned face. We were going to study some new bubble gum flavors.

Serious stuff. I wandered into the game room and saw Sherman at the Ping-Pong table. Sharonda and Sherman were slamming the ball back and forth over the net at each other. They were grunting and sweating 76 and running from side to side.

He had Bad-Luck Lippy on his shoulder. They both worked up a sweat. Sharonda slammed the ball so hard, it cracked and flew off the table. Finally, she threw down her paddle, muttering to herself. Sharonda is a champion Ping-Pong player. He pulled out a leopard-skin handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He was meeting MY girlfriend? I was too choked up to talk. I followed him out of the Student Center.

AprilMay was waiting for him. Her blue eyes flashed, and she gave him a big smile. She wrapped her arm in his. Adorable parrot?? Arm in arm, they started to walk away. Suddenly, Sherman stopped. He bent down and picked something up from the grass. Suddenly lucky? He took every dime I had. And the whole night, that stupid parrot on his shoulder kept squawking: I staggered back to the dorm.

I could still hear that parrot squawking and crowing. I love Foamy Root Beer. The three of us drank silently for a while, wiping the foam off our faces with the backs of our hands. After a three- or four-minute burping session, I shook my head sadly. Foamy Root Beer is very bubbly. Sometimes after you drink it, you burp for two or three days. Rotten Competition.

The day after tomorrow, right? Crack my arms and bend me into a pretzel. Feenman dove under his dirty clothes pile. You can probably guess how my dog got his name. He had Lippy on his shoulder. And believe it or not, Sherman was still showing off his new gold cell phone. Gassy wagged his stub of a tail.

Know what I mean? Wes is so awesomely cool, I wish I could understand him. I pushed through the crowd and stepped up to Sherman. I could see it glowing in there. I want to do the right thing. But at that moment, Gassy decided to live up to his name. And then we all smelled it. It was BAD. So bad, it set off the smoke alarms! But what choice did I have? Spend the rest of my life as a pretzel? Or steal Lippy away from Sherman? That night, I paced back and forth in my room. Feenman popped his head in.

You know I have to help my partner, The Ecch, win every game. What can I do? I already knew what I had to do. A piece of cake. All I had to do was climb in his window, grab the bird, and run. I waited until midnight. Everyone was asleep. I crept down the stairs silently in my stocking feet.

Then I pulled on my sneakers and slipped out the front door. A cool, clear night. A full moon and hundreds of twinkling stars to lead my way across the silent, empty campus. My heart pounded. Not from being scared.

From happiness. Soon, all the good luck would be mine again—and just in time for the games! I made my way around to the back of the dorm. The window was open. I grabbed the window ledge and hoisted myself up. I peered inside to make sure I had the right room. I heaved myself onto the ledge and dropped silently into the room. I took a deep breath and held it, waiting for my eyes to adjust. In the yellow moonlight coming through the window, I saw Sherman in his bed, wearing his favorite dollar-sign eye mask.

He was sound asleep on his satin pillow, under his zebra-skin blanket. Lippy stood on his perch. His feathers had grown back. He was sound asleep, too. I carefully lifted the sleeping bird off the perch. Holding Lippy in both hands, I turned and crept back to the window.

The floorboards creaked under my feet. Holding the bird gently, I made it to the window. And started to lower myself outside. He lifted his head, 9O opened his beak, and squawked at the top of his lungs: What are you doing in here? His favorite prunes. He always loves some pitted prunes at midnight. I set Lippy down. Then I jumped out the window and took off.

Behind me, I could hear Lippy squawking away: Then I picked up a salt shaker and began pouring salt all over myself. Might as well get a head start. Which end do I ride? Saddle up. Do you have a ladder or something I could use? Big joke, right? There we were at Lake Choking Gas. The lake shimmered like gold in the morning sun. Pine trees dropped their needles onto the sandy shore. It was beautiful—if you held your nose. The list of games had been posted on a tree by Coach Manley Bunz: But I knew Jennifer Ecch would probably be adding it soon.

I turned and watched Sherman and his partner, April-May. They walked their horses out onto the path. They were both petting Lippy for luck. Coach Bunz walked over to them, his big belly bouncing in front of him.

My mouth dropped open. Coach Bunz was pointing to the silver I. And he was already congratulating Sherman and April-May! I saw Feenman and Crench down the path.

They were partners. But I saw that they were off to a bad start. I called them over. Should I tell them their mistake?

I nodded. Then rub him bald again. Saddles on their stomachs. Feenman and Crench turned and trotted down the bridle path to Sherman and April-May. I watched them beg and plead with Sherman to let them touch Lippy. Then I watched them pick the bird up— and rub Lippy like crazy.

Lippy was bald again. I could see the goose bumps on his yellow skin. But would it work? Would it turn Lippy into a bad-luck bird again? Would it turn Sherman into the big loser of the day?

I would never call myself a genius, of course. The horse staggered around like 1O2 it was drunk, and Sherman had to hitch a ride with April-May.

Sherman was about to let his arrow go at the target. Lippy let out a deafening squawk. Bernie and Jennifer win again. Sherman dove into the lake to save him. April-May had to drag them both out of Lake Choking Gas—stinking to high heaven.

By that time, Jennifer and Bernie B. Sherman clonked himself in the head with a horseshoe and had to go lie down under a tree. Another big victory for Bernie and The Ecch. Sherman got his head stuck in the net. Yes, the bad-luck parrot struck again. It took Nurse Hanley an hour to untangle it. Sherman had net marks all over his face! Bernie and Jen won again, just to make it a perfect day.

We won the trophy! She made three laps around the lake, tossing me into the air and catching me as she ran. Then everyone gathered in a circle around Coach Bunz. It was time for Coach to award the trophy. Snarling like a dog, Sherman stormed up to me. He shoved Lippy into my face. He even broke my new phone!

Then I gently placed Lippy on my shoulder. I had my beautiful pet back. And I helped Jennifer win her precious trophy. Could life be any sweeter? How long would the good times last? About thirty seconds. The tradition of. His stomach inflated like a blimp. He continued his speech. Let me check my watch. He picked up the gleaming silver cup and handed it to me. I turned and started to carry it over to Jennifer.

I felt something warm and gloppy plop onto my forehead. It oozed down over my eyes and. I tripped! I stumbled and fell. And guess where I landed. You got it. On the trophy. At first, I thought it was my bones! Wiping bird glop off my face, I pulled myself up. And squinted down at the trophy beneath me. I turned and saw The Ecch shaking her big fist at me. Running for my life. STOP, you trophy wrecker! She thundered after me, shaking her big fist like a club.

And as I ran, the badnews parrot squawked all the way: In sixth grade, R. Unfortunately, after the tournament, his underpants had to be surgically removed. He could tell this because kids always clapped and cheered whenever he left the room. One of his teachers remembers him fondly: He was so proud of himself when he learned to wave bye-bye with both hands.

Today, R. Says he: Stine, go to www. The Big Blueberry Barf-Off! The Great Smelling Bee 3. The Good, the Bad and the Very Slimy 4. Lose, Team, Lose! The Heinie Prize 7. Dudes, The School Is Haunted! The Teacher from Heck 9. Belzer saved me a seat in the third row. My friend Beast stood up in the aisle.

In class, Mrs. The dude has armpit hair that goes down to 52 his waist. So it was pretty gross to look at him. But no one can play armpit like Beast. He plays with so much enthusiasm and skill! He started squeezing out some rap beats with both armpits and had the whole auditorium boogying! I looked up and saw Mr. Pocketlint walk onto the stage.

They both had their hands pressed over their ears. They like classical stuff like Mozart and Beethoven. The Pocketlints are the dorm parents in Nyce House.

Pocketlint has a slender, pink face, a very long, pointed nose, and tiny, blue eyes, very close together. He looks a lot like one of those anteaters you see in cartoons. His wife has gray hair piled high on her head. She has large, gray eyes and a big, snooty nose that always seems to be sniffing the air. They waved their arms and shouted for us all to be quiet. It took a long time for everyone to calm down. Beast took out a hairbrush and started brushing his armpit hair.

He did it for a joke. And, of course, 53 we all went wild, laughing and cheering him on. Pocketlint slipped a dog leash onto Beast and led him out of the auditorium. We all booed and hissed. A few minutes later everyone finally settled down. Pocketlint sniffed the air. Her husband returned and took out a large, white handkerchief and blew his nose into the microphone.

But nobody laughed. A man named I. Pitiful was headmaster then. His wife had the idea for the party. Her name was Mrs. Pocketlint said. I think she just liked to catch them. We all have hobbies, right? For example, I like to collect my own toenail clippings. I have two thousand of them in a jar in my room. I give each one a name. Nothing strange about that. Toenail clippings? You had to use your teeth.

We all stared at them. No one made a sound. Pocketlint blew his nose loudly again. Then for a few moments he studied what he had done in his handkerchief. Pocketlint held up a long sheet of paper. We kept this up until the list of rules had been read. I was too busy thinking about how I could prove to Jennifer that I was a total loser, unworthy of her.

And when I saw Mr. Pocketlint wheel a machine onstage, I realized I had my chance. I saw my archenemy, that spoiled rich kid, Sherman Oaks, strut onto the stage.

Sherman is the leader of Nyce House. He is tall and blond and goodlooking, in an icky sort of way. He has someone else look in a mirror for him! Sherman had a big, toothy grin on his face as he stepped up to the machine. The machine had a flat-screen monitor, a big speaker, and a microphone resting on its top. Sherman Oaks was a hero! TRY IT! Pocketlint shouted. I jumped to my feet. This was my big chance! My chance to look like a total loser in front of Jennifer!

I made my way up the stairs to the stage—and stumbled and tripped just to make myself look like a jerk. I flashed Sherman a grin as I stepped up to his machine. I picked up the microphone.

I pretended to be totally confused. I pushed it again. Another high squeal that made everyone cover their ears. Pocketlint asked. I twisted 61 and pulled. I pushed the red button again and made the machine squeal.

He was starting to get steamed. I heard kids laughing. I hope you see what a klutz I am. Do I look in here? Kids were laughing and hooting. My head popped out—and the whole karaoke machine fell over and crashed to the floor. Tinkle tinkle. Glass flew everywhere. The video screen shattered into a million pieces. Kids were muttering and booing and hissing. I looked like a total jerk. But it was for a good cause. I waited outside the auditorium with my fingers crossed. This had to work.

Kids started streaming out. The assembly was 64 over. I saw April-May hurry over to Jennifer. I crept up behind them to listen.

You go, girl! But Jennifer shook her head. My body suddenly felt too heavy to stand. I sank to the ground. Defeated again. What could I do to lose The Ecch? I needed another idea. I shut my eyes and thought hard.

I thought till sweat poured down my face, and my whole body shook. Another idea. I know what will work, I decided. Every year I bet on Beast to gobble down the most eggs.

But this year was gonna be different. This year Bernie B. I made sure Jennifer and Sharonda knew about it. I wanted them to be there. Each one had a helper—someone to keep handing him eggs. I saw Joe Sweety, the big, mean kid from Nyce House. He was chewing on a football, warming up his jaw. I told you he was big and mean! Feenman was there, cracking open eggs for Beast. Beast warmed up by eating the shells! I picked up a bucket of eggs and moved next to them.

I waved to my friend Crench. Start cracking eggs for me. He raised a gold whistle to his lips. I had to stall. He nodded. My parents sent it to me. They know 67 that silver whistles give me chapped lips. Or is this a digital one? Sherman groaned. I can eat eggs with my eyes closed. Jennifer waved a big paw at me. Joe, Beast, and I began shoving eggs into our mouths.

I tried to chew. It tasted like pillow stuffing. I began sliding them down my throat without chewing. Could I manage four? I had to! Next to me, Beast was shoving eggs into his open mouth three at a time.

He made a glug, glug sound as egg after egg slid down his throat. Next to him, Joe Sweety had egg smeared all over his face. He was half finished with his first bucket. Crench handed me another egg. I pushed it into my mouth. The yolk stuck to my tongue. I shoved it down with another egg.

My stomach started to bubble and churn. But it was for a good cause! She rolled her eyes. She turned to Jennifer. A waterfall of yellow egg barf gushed from my open mouth. Wet lumps of egg poured out my nose. The smelly egg barf puddled over my shoes. It stuck to my cheeks and my chin. When I finally stopped heaving it up, I raised my head and gave Jennifer a big, yellow grin!

I told myself. This has got to turn Jennifer off. I pulled a chunk of egg barf from my nose and gazed at her. The Ecch smiled at me. She stepped up and began tenderly wiping the gunk off my face with her school scarf. I picked up the egg bucket and slammed it down over my head. I was acting like a loser for so long, I started to feel like one!

Come on, dude. Who is the greatest schemer and plotter on earth? Do I have to answer that? Was Bernie B. During the day I walked around campus with my head down, staring at my shoes. At night I sat for hours gazing at the two big cartons on my floor. The sweatshirts. They were gonna make me RICH! I had to get to the party. Sigh, sigh. Day after day I moped and sighed. I know they missed my funny jokes, my winning smile, my great laugh. But what could I do?

How are you? My legs started shaking. My chest fluttered. Was she actually being NICE to me?

They suddenly felt like flapping, rubber balloons. My heart was pounding so hard, the buttons on my school blazer popped off. Did April-May finally 73 realize that she was my girlfriend? And Jennifer Ecch jumped out from behind a bush.

She let out an angry growl and shook both meaty fists at me. April-May turned to Jennifer. Now do you finally believe me? You promised to go with me. I heard every word! I was tricked by the two girls. I took several steps back. How could you break your promise? You traitor! I asked myself. I watched Jennifer kick up grass as she ran. Did my plan actually work after all?

Am I free? Totally FREE? She tossed back her head and laughed in my face for nearly ten minutes. And you fell for it. But hey, no biggie. I knew a dozen girls were waiting for me. No complaints.

I rushed into my room. Jennifer sat really close to Wes and wrapped an arm around his neck. I think she meant it to be friendly. But it looked like a headlock on a TV wrestling smack-down. She was calling him Honey Cakes and Lamby Breath. Jennifer jumped to her feet. Jennifer nodded. She hurried to the lunch line. My mouth dropped open. Did she really understand what Wes wanted? Wes and Jennifer were perfect for each other! The All-Nighter was just a week away.

I had good news and bad news. The good news: Jennifer clung to Wes Updood like a mop on a dust bunny. She followed him everywhere, smothered him with smoochy kisses—and tackled him to the ground whenever he tried to get away.

What a hoot! Wes was trapped—and I was free. I was free. No girl had asked me to the party. I had two cartons of stuff to 8O sell. Of course, I still hoped April-May would come to her senses and ditch Sherman. I never like to brag.

Who is the most popular dude at Rotten School? Suddenly I knew what the problem was! I just had to let the girls know I was free. I ran into Flora and Fauna, the Peevish twins, outside the library. I flashed them my most adorable grin, the one with the dimples. I patted their heads.

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Maybe next time. Sharonda is a tough Ping-Pong player. Her 81 serves flew twenty feet off the table. And poor Georgia had to chase after the ball. That was just your cute way of saying you like me—right?

She slammed the ball into the next room. I chased after it with Georgia. I grabbed the ball and tossed it to her. But he always gets a nosebleed before parties. I slumped back to my room. This was getting serious. Steam poured out when I opened my door.

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Belzer 82 was ironing my shirts. I walked your dog, and I watered your plants. Belzer nodded. Patti Kakes asked me. But that girl chews on her braids all the time. What should I do? That was the question the Rotten School Debate Team was arguing. They were debating a team of three kids from Easter Bunny Prep. The debates are a big deal. All of us fourth graders have to go to them. We piled into the auditorium and took seats way in the back so we could goof around and talk and take naps.

I glanced at the stage. They were looking through their notes, getting ready to debate. I saw Jennifer Ecch in the front row, blowing kisses to Wes.

Sherman started the debate. He walked to the front of the stage and held up a shiny silver laptop. He studied his note cards for a moment. Then he spoke into the microphone.

Supersize it! Give it up! She jumped to her feet and clapped. Sliced peaches. Totally brilliant! No way we can lose now! But he talked for another twenty minutes. He was totally cool. Then he picked up his saxophone and started to play. The debate was over. No one on the other team got to say a word. Wes started to leave the stage. Jennifer hurried up to join him. She hugged him so hard, I could hear his ribs cracking. Jennifer, Wes, and Sherman left the auditorium.

I followed them. I loved seeing Wes smothered by The Ecch. They made their way to the snack shop at the 86 Student Center. I followed them as they got in line. As they walked, she nibbled on his ear, making loud, slurping noises. He turned to her. Her smile faded. She jerked her arm away. Like elephants on rice. She knocked him to the floor. Why are you saying those horrible things about the way I look? Then he screamed in pain. Sherman jumped to rescue his friend.

He grabbed 87 Jennifer by the shoulders and tried to pull her off Wes. Jennifer spun around. Her one brown eye and one blue eye flashed. He tried to shove her away with his chrome laptop. But The Ecch grabbed his left arm and twisted it behind his back. I looked up and saw AprilMay June heading our way. So April-May needs a date to the All-Nighter.

Her blond ponytail swung behind her. She kept clenching her fists. April-May spit her gum into my chicken soup. You have to get her back so I can go with Sherman. I let out a sigh. The party is tomorrow night. She patted me on the shoulder and hurried away. I shook my head sadly. Get The Ecch back? But, did I have a choice? I shook. I staggered. My eyes bulged. But I had no choice. I had to get The Ecch back before tomorrow night.

And I knew how to do it. Jennifer loved it when I acted like a creep and a klutz and a jerk. She thought that was the BEST. No matter what I did, she thought it was awesome.

All I had to do was repeat all those creepy, klutzy, jerky things. I waited for Jennifer to walk by Rotten House with Sherman.

And I dropped water balloons onto the little kids. Leaning out my dorm window, I saw Jennifer turn to Sherman. Strike one. No prob! I found Sherman onstage in the auditorium. Jennifer was watching him repair the machine. Let Bernie B. I know just how to fix these things. Then I stuck my head inside the machine again. She tugged my head free, then gave me a boot in the butt that sent me flying into the seats.

Strike two. I still had the hard-boiled-egg-eating contest. Jennifer went nuts for that. I remembered how it totally impressed her.

They said they were still urping up egg from 96 the last one. I had to bribe them with free flashlights and sweatshirts. We got ready in the alley behind the Student Center. As soon as I saw Jennifer coming, I started stuffing eggs down my throat. Yellow chunks poured from my mouth and nose. I waited for Jennifer to hurry over to help me.

I stared down at the yellow glop on my shoes. Strike three. Bernie is out. My shoes made squishy sounds as I trudged back to Rotten House. I failed to get Jennifer back. Chef Baloney and his helpers stood beside huge barbeque grills. They served up tons of smoking hot dogs, burgers, chicken, and ribs. I gazed around the brightly decorated hall. And some awesome artist had painted a huge mural of snails and leeches and fish skeletons. And how I got there with April-May June.

About ten minutes before the party started, April-May realized that she and I were the only ones without dates. So she came to see me. I could tell she was crazy about me. But what choice do I have? I have to ask you to the AllNighter. What a night for the great Bernie B.!

Could life get any sweeter? She and Mr. Pocketlint stood at a microphone in the front of the hall. Those two dudes know how to party! I raised my cheeseburger to my mouth. Because I felt a hard tap on my shoulder.

I spun around. What do you want? The party started already. Go back to Sherman. Her one brown eye and one blue eye sparkled. He said I could have this if I went back to you. April-May gasped. She stared at the money. She bent down and started licking my neck again. April-May grabbed my left arm. She grabbed my right arm.

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