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Editorial Reviews. Review. "Not only does Bliss' illicit relationship with Garrick tantalize, but . I teach high school English, so books like The Great Gatsby, Romeo and Juliet, and the bloody aftermath of The Odyssey can leave a person. Cora Carmack has done a multitude of things in her life–boring jobs (retail), Faking It. Losing It (Series). Book 2. Cora Carmack Author Emma Galvin Narrator. For offline reading convenience the 25, words can be found on a PDF, a Kindle file, an eBook Rated: Fiction M - English - Bella, Edward - Chapters: 32 - Words: , Here is the 8 Mar Losing It Faking It - Cora Carmack.

Losing It Cora Carmack Pdf English

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KEEPING HER A Losing It Novella CORA CARMACK DEDICATION For Ana You are going to do so many great things. And I can't wait to witness them. And to. Author: Carmack Cora Losing It 03 Finding It · Read more · Losing It 02 Faking It. Read more · Losing It Keeping Her · Read more. The Runaway New York Times and USA Today Bestseller! Edwards is about to graduate from college and still has hers. Sick of being the only virg.

Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Other editions. Enlarge cover.

And so the story takes off. So there are some differences here between Losing It and Faking It. First off, we have a dual narrative, both Cade and Max's pov's are shared with the reader, Losing It was told strictly from the pov of Bliss. And while Losing It was more about the good girl trying to be a little bad and usually failing miserably here Max is most definitely a bad girl protagonist, complete with a host of insecurities and emotional baggage.

The really heavy kind. On the other side of the coin, there is an undeniable chemistry between Max and Cade not unlike Garrick and Bliss's in Losing It. This book is definitely a case of opposites attract. Cade is that perfect mix of big-hearted and kind, wholesome but not TOO wholesome and super duper swoony.

Seriously, I liked him as a male lead so much more than Garrick. Something about those Texas boys; But Max is the showstealer of this book. She's a broken girl, trying hard to make the world believe she is tough as nails when really she is is a sloppy mess inside. I loved Max's confidence and I loved her witty banter back and forth with Cade. Because of her tragic past history which doesn't totally reveal itself until the last part of the book she has a lot of issues with self loathing.

This was probably the only part of Faking It that irked me. I get why she felt that way but I was beyond ready for her to climb out of that hole and move forward. Enough is enough, chica, time to get over it. That minor annoyance aside, what I loved most about Faking It was that unlike Losing It, sex was not major focus.

Don't flip out on me, romance fans. There are still plenty of sexytimes in this book. But in Faking It, neither Cade or Max are virgins so even though they are wildly attracted to each other, it felt as if Faking It focused more on the emotional aspects of a romantic relationship instead of the physical aspects. And this really made all the difference to me.

Yes, there are some high drama moments in this book like I said, Max especially has got a lot of past issues she is dealing with like self loathing issues and deep seeded insecurity but they never overpowered the book for me. There were sexy moments, and funny moments interspersed throughout. I guess what I am trying to say is it felt balanced to me. But what I appreciated the most was that although there are a whole lotta steamy, sexy, swoony scenes, there are just as many conversations about emotional intimacy and trust, something that both Cade and Max and struggled with in the past.

And I would be remiss if I didn't talk a little about the role music plays in this book. If you read this blog you know I am a raging fan of music themes in books. In Faking It, Max is an aspiring musician in a band.

There are some really awesome scenes written in when Max explains how she get's lost in her music. For Max, it is a very real, emotional part of who she is, very much like a visual artist or a writer feels about their craft. Having an art background myself, I understand getting caught up in your art.

Like Bliss's connection to acting in Losing It, Max's music added another layer to her personality and I really liked that. This book also has some fabulous secondary characters you know I love them , characters I definitely would not mind reading more of in the future. I am thinking of you Milo and you Spencer! It seems like Carmack likes to pluck some of these secondaries out and explore them further and I would love to get a better read on either of those two boys: In the meantime I will anxiously await the third book in the series entitled Finding It.

If history is any indication than I expect Carmack to wow me even more with the third installment in this companion series. It's set to release in October and I will be waiting: So to sum it all up: Even if you were like me, liked it well enough as a palette cleanser but not a lot more, then I encourage you to give Faking It a try!

I think you will find it has a lot more emotional depth and is more sophisticated than it's predecessor. And I think you will be impressed by Carmack's enhanced writing chops as well. I know that I will be on the look out for more of her work in the future because I believe she's a writer that is just getting started and is definitely going places: View all 7 comments.

In the case of Faking it that norm is tattooed punk male and preppy female. Meet Mackenzie Max: And Cade: And his story starts off with a meet- 3. And his story starts off with a meet-cute that is adorable but unrealistic.

So after she shoves her completely different boyfriend out of the coffeehouse, Max saunters over and offers to pay Cade to pretend to be her boyfriend. Her parents disapprove of her life choices — namely her desire to become a professional musician — and she spends all times in their presence hiding her tattoos, piercings and dulling down her punky hair colours. They stumble around and some crazy assumptions are made between the two of them.

Ultimately this is a cute love story. He respects her, yet also challenges and admires her.

View all 39 comments. Auch den 2. Deshalb konnte ich mich gut mit ihr identifizieren. Die Story ist interessant, es fehlt meiner Meinung nach jedoch ein wenig die Tiefe, um dem ganzen 5 Sterne zu geben. Once again I find myself in a dilemma. I know I enjoyed the book but I'm not sure whether to give it a good rating or a very good one. I think I liked this one more than Losing It so I will give it a 4,sth. I have to say I love Cade.

He appears so sweet and calm and then he does sth and you see the fire brewing beneath the surface. Max was exciting. She was so different from Cade's previous crush that there was no comparison.

Where Bliss was cute and sweet, Max was bold, filled with fire, except when it came to her family. In front of them she was in constant terror. Yeap, we have a tortured heroine but she fought her pain by embracing life and living on edge.

I liked the fact that for once the heroine wasn't some innocent maiden. Generally the story was nice but kind of predictable. Typical love story, bad girl falls for good boy and vice versa without much to add, but when a recipe works why change it? I can't wait for Kelsey's book but I also want a book on Milo and maybe Spencer?

View all 5 comments. May 02, Katy rated it liked it. And I was so excited to learn that there was going to be a book about him. Having said that, I didn't like this book nearly as much as the first one. But WHY, Katy?!?

How can you say such a blasphemous thing about a book about Cade?!? Don't get me wrong, it was cute, and I enjoyed some if it very much. Cade was just perfect in just about every way. He was sweet. He was charming. He was witty. And he was heartbroken in a way that made you want to be the one who made it al 3.

And he was heartbroken in a way that made you want to be the one who made it all better. But I was disappointed that Carmack made this book too cliche. The book had your typical perfect character, and your typical "wrong" character, and the frustrating tension and drama that goes along with the "I can't be with you because we're too different, and I'm not good enough for you. But then, you find out what a coward she really is. I mean, I understand what she's going through.

I really do. My parents were strict and very hard on having me become the person they want to be. And I would understand if it was about her being who she really is like they knew how she changed when she went off to college and just getting her parents to accept her for who she is, and I understand taming the rebellion down a little when you come home for a visit, but to see her going from that character to such an extreme opposite and realize what she has been hiding, it was just a little disappointing.

And with how she treated Cade? Oh, come on. With "Losing It," there were a lot of reasons why Bliss and Garrick couldn't be together view spoiler [their teacher-student relationship, her not being physically ready, etc. But that wasn't the case. It was just her thinking she was not good enough for him.

Setting that aside, I did enjoy the book. I really thought the way they met was pretty cute, and I had to smile at the flirting and taunting that they threw at each other.

There were some really good lines, great moments and electric chemistry.

Overall, it's a pretty good read. View all 15 comments. Trotzdem habe ich es sehr gerne gelesen und mich mit Cade und Max in deren Beziehung verliebt: Det er naturligt. Nov 03, D. Maybe because I saw this handled in a more mature, less self-pitying way in the two other books, I couldn't stand how Max, the heroine in this one, used her sister's death which happened 9 years ago as an excuse for all her shitty behavior towards Cade.

Max and Cade are very different. She's full of tattoes and bad attitude while he's polite and put together.

Her nickname for him "golden boy" says everything. But Max had been hiding her real self from her very conversative parents they don't even know about the tattooes so she convinces Cade to play her boyfriend for a day becuase she knows he's the kind of guy that her parents would approve.

Even with their aparent differences, an attraction grows between them. I love opposites attract tropes so this was working for me until Max suddenly freaks out and decides that nothing can happen between them because I'm toxic!

I destroy everything I touch! He's too good for meeee! I'm too fickle! I'll stop liking him and then I'll hurt hiiiiiim!!!! He's a grown man! Let him decide who he dates!! If you want to clear your concience, just warn him! Alternately, she also thinks: One day he'll realize we're too different! And then he'll leave meeeee! Most likely, you'll dump him before he dumps you! What is there to worry about? What follows is more whining about how she's so horrible, they were so different, blah, blah, blah.

I wanted to slap her silly. I've never seen so much angst about absolutely nothing. The disfunctional relationship with her parents made sense to me.

She was young that I understood that she hadn't found the strenght to be herself and confront them. I would have wanted to know more about the relationship with her sister - if she was so hurt 9 years later, it meant they were really close but we saw none of that.

In the other two books I've read with dead siblings, this was the case but both had managed to move on with their lives the best they could. Max seemed to be so paralyzed with grief and I understand a measure of guilt but I don't think this was explored fully.

She came out as whiny instead of sympathetic to me. Cade was too much of a good guy. I would have wanted to see some bite from him - the fight didn't count because he's the knight in shining armor type.

I also would have wanted to see more about his life as an actor. He didn't go to even ONE audition! How did he expect to make a living? The best part of the book for me was discovering a new narrator: Dan Bittner.

He narrated the Cade parts and he was very good.

I really hope to see him in more adult romance in the future. After reading this, I'm not sure I want to continue the series. Maybe I'll just wait a while and see.

May 26, Jessica rated it it was amazing Shelves: And just look at that cover! I knew just looking at this one that Faking It was going to be fantastic New Adult romance. Cade has never gotten over Bliss, despite the fact that she's now in a serious relationship with a dreamy British guy who was her professor the year before. No matter how hard he tries, Cade can't get rid of his feelings and heartbreak.

But one look at Max and all thoughts of Bliss fly out the window. Max is everything Cade isn't; she's rebellious and not afraid to speak her mind, not to mention her dyed hair, tattoos and piercings. Cade, on the other hand, is Mr. Perfect, always there when you need him. But when their two worlds collide and Max needs Cade's help to convince her parents that her life as a musician is the right path for her, Cade is completely captured by her passion and resilient attitude.

Can Cade really figure out what's beneath the hard girl exterior, and can Max be the answer for Cade finally finding someone who just might like him too? Cade is just so sweet and handsome and gosh darn perfect. Okay, so we learn that he's got problems of his own with letting people go and everything, but he's perfect to me! And I love how he falls for someone so not like him, which is Max. Max is such a dynamic character and I really loved how there were so many layers to her character that Cade tried to peel back as they got to know each other more and more.

What was best about this book, though, was how not perfect their relationship was. Cade and Max have so many ups and downs from the moment that they meet, which makes the story so intriguing and interesting.

You never knew what would set one of them off or where they would be in the next chapter. I was definitely on the edge of my seat with this one. And talk about chemistry! Cade and Max are so wrong, yet so right for each other. It's perfect! If you're a new adult fan, you definitely have to pick up Cora Carmack's books!

Losing It was awesome and Faking It is even better! And in this one you get alternating points of view with each chapter switching between Max and Cade , which means you get so much more from each of the characters and their stories. So go out and pick this one up when it comes out. Details if other: Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Losing It by Cora Carmack.

Sick of being the only virgin among her friends, Bliss Edwards decides the best way to deal with the problem is to lose it as quickly and simply as possible - a one-night stand.

But her plan turns out to be anything but simple when she freaks out and leaves a gorgeous guy alone and naked in her bed with an excuse that no one with half-a-brain would ever believe. And as if Sick of being the only virgin among her friends, Bliss Edwards decides the best way to deal with the problem is to lose it as quickly and simply as possible - a one-night stand.

And as if that weren't embarrassing enough, when she arrives for her first class of her last college semester, she recognizes her new theatre professor. She'd left him naked in her bed about 8 hours earlier. Get A Copy. More Details Original Title. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Losing It , please sign up. I don't understand how this has such high reviews when it's so cheesy!?

I can barely get past the bar scene and all Garrick's lines are huge turn offs to the novel. Jessica Never read and will possible never read it either. My friend told me some of the lines and i was shaking my head and thought" Really was he for …more Never read and will possible never read it either.

My friend told me some of the lines and i was shaking my head and thought" Really was he for real? Why is it that the model is brunette always! Jessica It's the author images the covers or it could be that the publishers had the right to make that change to the hair colors. Note the first is usually …more It's the author images the covers or it could be that the publishers had the right to make that change to the hair colors.

Note the first is usually Self publish authors and the other is traditional publishing authors. See all 6 questions about Losing It…. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews.

Showing Rating details. Sort order. They say write the book you would want to read. I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! The print book releases in the U.

View all 75 comments. Apr 13, Sasha Alsberg rated it it was amazing. I actually really liked Losing It! It was a fun, exciting and romantic read!

Read it in a few hours!

Losing It Series

Jun 15, "That's All" Ash rated it it was ok Shelves: Do I get points for that? It was waaaahaaaay to predictable. Holy Moses, man! And I get that the cute and sweet books, for the most part, ARE predictable.

She just goes to a bar with her friend to find some random guy to lose it with. Lo and behold, the random guy she DOES find turns out to be not just random guy… but wait for it Shocking, I know. And then cue the very PG-rated sexual angst, the back and forth bullshit, the constant changing their minds, blah blah blah. View all comments. I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems.

Here's hoping! No review is completely objective. But there are two reasons I should warn you of why this review might be prone to even less objectivity than usual: Let's start with the second. Losing It clearly wasn't written for me. I'm not sure how much I would have liked it anyway if the attraction of the book's love interest hadn't been built up around the sexiness of his accent and his - ohmigosh, so cute! Like drinking tea. Tea is awesome, by the way, and I need at least three cups to achieve a normal level of brain functioning in the morning.

As much as I'm sure there are many incorrect cultural stereotypes, that's one I find it difficult to argue with. Plus, this gif amuses me to no end: Okay, sorry, I got distracted when tea came up. But, yeah, I failed to experience the same level of excitement as the protagonist and fully appreciate statements like this: Because I like to be fair. But I still think it was pretty generous of me. Accurate tea and several other stereotypes aside, Garrick is still more like a caricature of a British person than an actual British person.

I'm glad Rose pointed out that "Garrick felt like a British character written by an American author", otherwise I might have felt like the annoying little voice in the corner trying to ruin everyone's exaggerated fun in a British accent. Though, I think the author deserves a medal for actually managing to use that much British slang in every single sentence because I never do. And no one actually says "love" at the end of every sentence either.

In fact, calling someone you've just met "love" can be seen as too familiar at best and condescending at worst.

Keeping Her

I didn't hate Losing It and there were some funny bits. Humour is a hard one to talk about in a review because it completely depends on the individual and what they find funny. For me, it was a little too ridiculous, too over-the-top. The funny parts focused on the embarrassing situations the protagonist - Bliss Edwards - found herself in. It relied on Bliss saying unbelievably stupid things at inappropriate times, making a fool of herself constantly and landing in one awkward situation after another.

It was like Bridget Jones x and I found it too much for my tastes. Though perhaps everything I've described so far sounds really appealing to you. Fair enough, that probably means this book would suit you more than me. Back to my first point: The latter is better written; it's about more than a relationship; it's sad, moving and memorable; there is more than one important relationship in it. It's a different kind of work entirely and I, personally, liked that a lot more.

But the real question is: Would you like this book? Look again. You have found your next favourite book. I hope that helps ; View all 62 comments. Sep 24, Taryn rated it liked it Shelves: This review was posted at My Secret Romance This is a prime example of me judging a book by it's cover. But can you blame me? I need this book asap! This cover Seriously HOT! When I look at the cover, I see: I can't wait to read this book! So I didn't judge too much from the cover There is no need to describe the story, the blurb tak This review was posted at My Secret Romance This is a prime example of me judging a book by it's cover.

There is no need to describe the story, the blurb takes care of it completely for me. I'm neither here nor there with this one. It was an ok story, cute, light and fluffy, but not what I expected at all.

What I expected was what I described when I looked at the cover and read the blurb. I felt a pull but not enough to really grip me. I'm definitely in the minority with this book it seems, so I'm going to explain what didn't work for me.

The relationship between Garrick and Bliss started out one night and then stopped quickly after because he is her professor. Their relationship was on and off throughout the semester and not for long periods of time either. When they were back on the final time, an 'I love you' drops. I'm sorry I didn't see it coming! The I love you came out of left field. Is it possible that the I love you's didn't fit for me because I didn't have a strong connection to the characters or the story?

It's possible. But when it was said, I just didn't feel it and it surely wasn't needed, in my opinion. Bliss, the heroine, is suppose to be this awkward 21 year old virgin in college. I never identified her as being awkward. Not one bit. She seemed like the everyday college student to me, hanging out with friends, going to clubs, crushing on her professors.

But was it because she's a virgin in college and freaked right before she was about to loose her virginity? To me that's normal. I just don't see awkward What saved this for me was Garrick and Cade.

I liked Garrick a lot and his British accent. He's exactly how I pictured on the cover, I just wish he had a little more push to him. Cade was sweet and I connected to him more than anyone and I would have like to see where he ends up. I have to give this new indie author credit- Her writing is clean with hardly any errors and I did enjoy her style, sadly I just didn't feel it. This doesn't mean I won't read any other books she releases, it's just that this wasn't for me. If you like lighthearted romances with a slight side of humor then this book is for you.

Oct 25, Jennifer Armentrout rated it it was amazing. I absolutely loved this book. One of the few reads that have made me laugh out loud. And the steamy scenes? They were hot. But it was so much more than that. My new favorite book of the year. View all 14 comments. View all 31 comments. Sep 24, littlebookbosomed bookreview rated it it was amazing Shelves: I find that guy on the cover undeniably hott.

If you didn't read this book, you totally miss something in your life. When i read the first few chapters it reminds me of the book name Slammed by Colleen Hoover. But the story wasn't really the same. And it ends abruptly hide spoiler ] The characters relationship view spoiler [ I want Bliss to choose Cade, because i like Cade. Besides, Cade loves Bliss so much that it hurts.

Cade loves Bliss loves Garrick loves Bliss. But sometimes i felt she chose the right guy. Because when we read more and see their reactions and it changed our opinion hide spoiler ] Characters Garrick Taylor I'm not going to tell you a lot about him. Just give you guys a readable expression. He has a sexy accent! He worth my time. He is so damn suuuweeettt! I want both guys! I want him and Garrick! Jealousy overload! I'm so jealous of her! I wanted to be her. To get kissed by Garrick!

I have to give out the ending and of course with a warning sign. A friend of mine likes to know the ending before reading the book, so yea.

Don't be mad at me. Its a happily ever after type of book! The epilogue was totally great. It was 6 months later. Garrick POV! Wanna know whats the best? Garrick proposed her! You know porposal! View all 47 comments. Losing it had me pretty much losing my mind through fits of giggles--courtesy of Bliss and her quirky inner dialogue! I must admit that I headed into this book with some reservation due to the mixed reviews it had initially been receiving.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I very much enjoyed this book. Bliss, a character whom I won't likely forget, had a comical energy about her that snagged my attention immediately. I loved being inside her head and hearin Stop! I loved being inside her head and hearing her hilarious thinking process Was he trashing my place because I'd run out and left him there like the biggest jerk this side of Kanye West at the VMA's?

Right about now, I could dive into a pool of hydrochloric acid without even a pep talk. As humorous as Bliss was, the very hot and very British professor gave her a run for her money. Garrick was sweet, smart, and oh-so-sexy! The story kicks off to a fun start: A twenty-two year old virgin attempting to lose her virginity for the sake of, well She heads to the local bar, the 'Stumble Inn', where she meets Garrick Problem solved, right?

Not quite Finding out her new sex interest is her theater professor kind of dampens the plan. I really adored the writing; it was fun, fresh, and hilarious. The sexual tension was piled on thick and I was pretty awed by this author's ability to vividly map out a steamy scene.

The only disappointment I had was I felt the ending was too quickly wrapped up in a neat-and-tidy bow. It began inching its way towards the corny side, but was ultimately saved by its very adorable epilogue. Book Stats: Very steamy! Charming, tension-filled, and flirty.

Sexy, sweet, British hero. Adorably hilarious heroine. Filled with humor and sexual tension.

Focused on a complicated relationship between a student and her theater professor. Fun, fresh, witty, and engaging. A secondary character spinoff. View all 51 comments. Feb 01, Beth Hudspeth rated it liked it Shelves: Probably more like 3. This was awkward as hell, but really cute!

This is pretty much how I picture Bliss: Or a shirt. Or anything really. Whoever said one-night stands were supposed to be simple with no strings attached had clearly never met the disaster that was me. Bliss which is such a cute Probably more like 3.

Bliss which is such a cute unconventional name is a 22 year old theater student in Texas with a massive awkward side. She is stressing out so much because well, she is still a virgin. This is basically what the book is about. If it weren't for the hilarious moments and likable characters I don't think I would have liked this at all. Her friend pressures her a lot and that really got on my nerves. An accent. Dear God, I'm dying. Garrick is a lovable British guy that Bliss is totally in lust with, but there is one problem, he is her new professor.

I really liked the scenes in class with all of the theater kids. They are all super dramatic and emotional, but what do you expect from actors? All of Bliss's friends were likable and I loved reading about their outings with each other. There were a few things that were just kind of left up in the air, but it's nothing I'll lose sleep over, so I will forgive and forget.

Plus, there is a cute cat named Hamlet, if a book has a cat as a side character, I'm almost guaranteed to like it. I had no one, but Hamlet. Who hated me with the fire of a thousand suns. Losing It is a short book so it's worth giving it a shot.

I think you will find the characters funny and engaging, even if you don't like the plot. View all 13 comments. Feb 12, Laura rated it really liked it Recommended to Laura by: Thank you, Ashley, for recommending me this book. Isn't it nice when a book surprises you in such a great way? To her mouth. Her chest. The small of her waist that seemed perfectly sculpted to fit in my hands. She was the ultimate game changer. Body, of course, being my primary focus at the moment.

I wanted to study her, to memorize her, to be able to close my eyes and see her perfectly as she was. She rolled her eyes. Though it would make going through airport security much simpler. I gripped her waist and pulled her forward until my chin brushed the skin just below her belly button. She shivered in my arms, and the reaction sent my blood screaming through my veins. Firmer this time, I dragged my lips over her belly button and up to the valley made by her ribs.

I tasted flour on her skin even here, and smothered a laugh.

Losing It Series by Cora Carmack

I was rewarded with a breathy sigh and a bitten lip that made it incredibly hard not to be cocky. And not to take her right then. She swallowed, drawing my eyes to her neck. I felt like a teenage boy, wanting to mark that pale, unblemished skin as mine again and again. I brushed a thumb over her pulse point, and she swallowed again, her eyes wide. I laced my fingers through her sleep-addled curls, and tilted her head back.

Her fingers curled around the band, and I swallowed. Looking down, I could see the way her curves reached out toward my body, and I wanted nothing more that to seal our bodies together. I used one hand to pull her closer, and the other to cup her breast. She flinched, and then moaned. Her eyes fluttered closed and her body swayed toward mine. I crushed my lips against hers, wishing for the hundredth time that I could just permanently affix our mouths together.

Every part of her tasted divine, but her mouth was my favorite. It was so easy to lose myself in kissing her, mostly because I could tell she was doing the same. Her body pressed against mine, and her fingernails dug into my shoulders like she was dangling off a cliff, and that was the only thing holding her up.

The harder I kissed her, the harder her nails bit into my skin. I trailed a hand from her neck down the line of her spine, and her mouth broke away from mine.

She shivered in my arms, her eyes closed. I leaned my forehead against hers, and pulled her bare chest to mine. Between the shower steam and her skin, our tiny bathroom felt like a furnace. But Bliss chased away the gray and made everything seem black and white.

No matter the question, she was the answer. She was my everything—the lungs that allowed me to breathe, the heart that had to beat, the eyes that let me see. It was just a piece of paper. The feeling mattered so much more, but a part of me sang with nervous energy demanding we make it official. It was the same part of me that worried about how Bliss would react to my family. She stepped out of my arms, biting down on her already red and swollen bottom lip. Then she pulled back the shower curtain and stepped into the tub.

I hated the fear that chased the heels of my love for her. Despite the fact that our relationship had begun in the most troubling and impossible situation —between teacher and student —things had been almost perfect since then. Logic, reality, and a lifetime knowledge of my mother made me certain of that. The feeling always came out of nowhere. Like we were balanced on a precipice, it felt inevitable that eventually we would fall.

Her insecurities. My stubbornness. The interfering hand of fate or family. But for a few seconds, I could feel it coming. Then always, she would pull me back. Those seconds of inevitability and uncertainty would dissolve in the sheer magnitude of my feelings for her. The doubt would be erased by the touch of a hand or the quirk of a smile, and I would feel like we could hold off that fall for forever and a day. She did it again, peeking one last time around the shower curtain wearing nothing but a smile.

So I pushed my worries away in favor of a much more pleasant use of my time.

MIRNA from New Mexico
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