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THE VIXEN MANUAL PDF

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On Vixen Jocelyn Modo Who knew a party planner would be such a party pooper ? Luscious Serene Bleau is all business, esp. Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd . The Vixen Manual isn't about how to please every man. we have to get serious about our futures and about. Since she exploded on the scene with her two juicy and impossible-to-put-down tell-alls, readers have wanted to know even more about what makes Karrine.

Except as permitted under the U. Copyright Act of , no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Contents Copyright Acknowledgments Preface: Who Died and Made You an Expert? Section 1:

First off. I always scheduled my dates for 9: I lost myself in the moments of excitement brought about by his private jets and fancy red-carpet events. If they see you leaving for a date. I became as devastated as he had been when. If they never see it happen. Now what? Vixen Tip Your sitter should be someone you know.

As with anything else in life. He began acting out in school and lost his ability to focus and uphold his good grades.

Like many of us. On paper. Despite knowing this. It should be a family member. I felt I wanted to be more than just a mom.

I wanted to enjoy life and find my own identity. I became determined to break away from mommydom each and every single weekend. Your departures can be traumatic for young children as it is. What happens when you meet a man you actually know and not just think might be the one. That way if your child wakes in the night and sees the sitter.

You take the time to get to know a suitor—do the same with the sitter. She or he should genuinely become your friend. Ensure that this person is trustworthy. Many of you who work outside of the home may already have day care for your child.

You may find equal success using them for aftercare services. The sitter should not just come over for work but should be welcome during times outside of work. Treat the sitter the way you would a suitor. Even more important. This can be terrifying for a single mother and terribly overwhelming for our children. Will he like the man? What title and description have you given identifying who this man even is?

Have you and your man definitively concluded that you are. They have to be decided upon and agreed to mutually before you begin to get your children involved. When you finally introduce your child to your man. Your child should be included in the decision of bringing a man into your family. Your children have to see this man making you happy.

Ever so gently and cautiously. You wonder what your child will think about all this. Our kids are so fragile. Having two separate lives may sound as if it can work. You and this man should have common objectives and plans with every intention of moving toward them and which include your child. Your children should never feel uncertain about the standing of the person you are bringing into their lives.

Even though so many of us have been told. You wonder. There are things a man can give to both you and your children that will enrich your family beyond your expectations. Depending on the type of baby.

There are plenty of good men who are concerned about having their children around someone who could potentially cause them harm. It is imperative that we make sure to date only men who want to have children.

I wound up creating an alternate life and a lifestyle that allowed no place for my son. The moment I heard this man was no kid lover. I was unable to include my son in activities with my man. Be careful. This was the underlying reason why. Vixen Tip Meet your ex to discuss it. To do otherwise will create tremendous drama. This was my mistake. Even if your ex is the worst man in the world.

I should have walked away and found a man worthy of us both. Between teaching your young son about household and financial responsibilities and the proper way to care for and about women. I only hope you will do the opposite and spare both you and your child unnecessary pain.

If he is a truly fair man. Make sure to date only men who want to have children and are fans of them. Make your friend your sitter. Nudging you in the back. After a while. Why would anyone be excited about getting on in years?

There is a special glow about a woman who wears the passage of time with honor and grace. At least. And now you hear the ticking of that dreaded biological clock. Chapter Seven Getting Older Okay. She realizes that with age comes a considerable amount of wisdom. Most of your friends seem to be coupled off. Panic sets in. Another birthday passes. And if you are. For every woman out there who fears the aging process.

The Vixen Manual How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want

Growing older is a fact of life. Even worse. No matter what. He may destroy your self-esteem. Stop being a pussycat. And then it happens: You deserve better! These kinds of men know how to seize upon this kind of vulnerability. Cozying up to you with its bloodchilling dread at night as you lay in your sumptuous. Desperate women make desperate moves. If anything. Your potential child deserves better. He might leave a little something behind for you. Use it to your advantage. Know from this point forward that there is someone out there to share your life with.

Breathe in. First of all. What can a man say in response to that? Breathe out. I may not. Do you think God would have made all these people and not set one aside for you? Embrace your maturity. Look at yourself in the mirror and know that there is a beautiful. With an education and a career under your belt. Like many of you. I feel a little desperate at times.

I hear that proverbial ticking men always like to tease and semi-demean women about. Just like you. Awareness of that ticking is what makes us women. By the time this book is published. I can definitely contribute on the wisdom tip. As my prior memoirs have explicitly detailed. Recap There is a special glow about a woman who wears the passage of time with honor and grace. I find that. Those feelings are nothing to be ashamed of and should not be diminished.

I made sure to consult women who managed to survive their twenties and withstand their thirties. You get what you believe in. Calm down. Getting older is a victory. But depending on how young they are.

These young boys are growing up fast and are putting it down hard. How do I know this? Younger men are delicious. There really is something special about being with a younger man. I was a cougar in my twenties. I said it. What a thrilling ride it was! He was amazing in bed and a joy to goof off and get off with.

Speaking of poking—boy. He took me away from my grown-up problems and was so eager to please and learn. So please. You know. Because of his youth. Supermen of sorts. A younger man has a greater potential to become attached to an older woman who has been showing him the ropes. Most of these promises are easily fulfilled. A virile young stallion plus a horny older woman equals happiness all around.

Do that enough times and that young man will be on you like wet on rain! After that. Lucky you! The younger the man. We peak sexually as we grow older. You want to partake of his stamina that can truly go on All. Once you establish the necessary levels of trust. This can be a new. Your place is cushy. And he will! It smells good. He just wants to eat you up. In that case. It does mean they can appreciate the guidance. You smell good. In contrast. Eat your Wheaties. Vixen Tip There are myriad reasons for dating younger men.

If that is the case. Older women know more. Some of you may actually find a true soul connection in a man many years your junior. You want a boy toy and nothing more. You represent the good stuff. He even likes it! Older women can do it all. He loves your body. He loves your mind. Equally dangerous is your ability to become addicted to his energy and the thrill of having a man you can boss around a bit. Keeping up with his energy requires a certain amount of energy of your own. Here are some rules to keep your young stud at a distance: Never be seen with him in public.

The more life experience and wisdom you have between you. He never reads the paper. He looks to you for help when his bills get behind. He just might be. Soon you find yourself with a grown baby on your hands. Every time you serve him dinner or wash his clothes.

Chastise him as if he were your child. Allow no calls after a certain hour. You are a cougar. Go apeshit on his ass if he shows up at your home unannounced. Call the police if you have to. The same is true of a woman in her forties dating a man in his thirties. It depends on your ages and what both of you are seeking in your lives. Give him only your mobile number. He wants the two of you to go out clubbing. Never hang out with him and his friends.

Pay it forward. Separating from a younger lover can be much more difficult than parting with one your own age or older. Go easy on him.

A younger man is more likely to become attached to an older woman who has been showing him the ropes. On a related note. There can be a number of reasons why your relationships do not last. For all you know. In fact. If you lose your cool. Tossed aside. In reality. Now is the time to bolster yourself. If every time you walk into a room you smell ass. Whatever you do. We tend to take things extremely personally when it comes to our relationships with men.

If you find it impossible to rationalize the outcome of a failed relationship. So can you. Vixen Tip The following is a list of things you should not do. If you do find yourself. If you find yourself jumping his gate. If done correctly. After placing several calls with no answer or callbacks.

Do not call him more than once a day. If you do call him and he ignores your call. If you find yourself stalking him. Do your best to grieve in a healthy manner. People recover from breakups every day. Pick yourself up and. What I can share with you is that each time I reacted adversely to some sort of rejection.

I highly recommend talking to a professional if you find yourself really losing it when your relationships stagger or come to an end.

I mean. While I would love to recount every single last one of those embarrassing moments with you. It can save you from yourself. Examples of the psycho message: You lose control of your emotions and demeanor. No matter how badly you want someone to be yours.

Do you love this man so much that you want to hold him hostage and force him to love you. I was a nut! A certified macadamia! After a bit of self-examination—and one court order later —therapy really helped me work through my separation anxieties and self-esteem issues. Think of every message you leave as a potential sound bite that can work against you. It can save you from disaster. Always smile.

For those of you ready to show him a thing or three about the prize he foolishly let go. Never let him see you sweat. Your life can still flourish in spite of this fact.

Spring for a new. No matter. Vixen Tip The following is a list of things you should do. Let him go—physically. Put on those sexy new clothes and hit all the hot spots. Not everyone is for you. Let that breakup make you better.

Use the disappointment as fuel to motivate you to personal greatness. Release him to the universe as you bid him Godspeed. Upgrade everything possible in your life—your job. Nothing beats an ex like success! There are plenty of ways to improve yourself that have the side benefit of allowing an ex to see just what he missed out on. Save your tears for your friends.

You can continue to evolve into the kind of woman who is more than ready when a deserving man comes along. Would you want to be involved with you? Think about what you may have contributed to the demise of your relationship and the ones that preceded it. If you recognize moments like this as opportunities to up your game and. It requires changing the way you think.

The universe always delivers. What would happen if you lived your life as if you already have a man? Talk about a tremendous burden being lifted! Imagine all the other wonderful things in life you could finally start focusing on. I can already hear the disbelief in your voice. Laugh all you want. If any of you have ever experienced the power of prayer or spoke your requests into the air with the absolute faith that they will come. The reality is. The more desperate you are in your quest to obtain something.

Are you suggesting that I come up with an invisible man. What kind of shape are you in? Are you waxed or shaved.

Fear and doubt are the natural opposites of faith. Something inside of you either feared. You have to know what you want is on its way. Visualize it. And what about you? When was the last time you had your hands and feet looked after?

Vixen Tip Start by imagining your life the way it would be if there were a man around. Be honest. How would your home look? What kind of furniture would you have? Would it be the same as what you have now? Would you have your dirty panties and socks scattered all over the floor? And what about your bed? Would the same sheets from three weeks ago still be on your mattress? Would a man be thrilled to be in your home right now.

Having a picture in mind is one of the strongest ways of bringing things to fruition. These are principles that have been in play since the dawn of man. Does your skin give off an inviting scent? Would a man salivate at the very thought of being near you? Double no? Maybe you do know him. No worries. What matters is that you already know that he will be right for you when he does show up. Upon hearing the doorbell.

I wanted to share all this good news with a tall. As I prepared to exit my twenties. And there you are: Dirt McGirt. I made my home comfy for me but malefriendly as well. See what I mean? Ever heard the phrase. I told them I was married. You trip over your fat. When I met new men. I went to bed early and woke early. I wanted it all. You must prepare yourself for the moment when your man arrives.

This may sound a little nutty. You open the door and there he is: He would want you to have your own money. I stayed on top of all my household chores and basically did everything I talk about in this chapter. It means he sees the way a woman handles her finances as a pointed insight into how she handles herself overall. I mean that figuratively and literally. Clean up your life. Once things were in order in my world. I was calling out to him in my prayers and in every move I made.

Take the time today to make the world that is You a place that not just your future man would be proud to inhabit. It includes educational. I wanted my new man to have a complete person as his partner. But neither he nor I noticed. Your preparation goes further than just your looks and the order of your home.

I expected the love of my life to show up at any minute. Prepare thoroughly. Start by imagining your life the way it would be if there were a man around. Recap The more desperate you are in your quest to obtain something. For women. All of them are looking for the same thing: It is a virtual reality where.

Dating or marrying for money is not a new concept. Marriages were frequently prearranged. She had to come with something. We should all want to financially improve our lots in life.

This something was known as a dowry—an offering which included things like money. The real issue. Chapter Eleven Dating for Love or Money The society we live in is so much more than a capitalistic society. Even in those prearranged marriages of old. Families of so-called good stock and great wealth wanted to assure that their children married into a family of equal or greater stock. We all are. Think about that. You probably have. Many men find it difficult to respect a woman who thinks this way.

It is a very real form of abuse in which a man uses his position as the breadwinner to control you and your lifestyle. No one wants to be saddled with the responsibility of saving you and.

It may be something small. For instance. Do you have what it takes to strive for excellence and maintain it. I asked if you were bright enough. We all want to shoot for the stars. The man who took care of me was in control of every move I made. Then where will you be? If he was the sole breadwinner. After four years of living under his rule and with his financial manipulations.

Some men have said. We live in a country where the divorce rate soars well over 70 percent. I can tell you from personal experience that it very rarely is. There are no legal repercussions to breaking up with someone. He knew he had power over me and I knew it. Never date or marry for money. Getting out from under a man who uses his monetary standings to control you is difficult. My point is this: It will never buy you love and honor. I left him and I took nothing but my son. I could do or be nothing without him because he held the purse strings—or so I thought.

While being a kept woman may sound like fun.

Karrine Steffans' The Vixen Manual: The Most Unlikely Dating How-To Ever Made

Do not lie to yourself or try to fool him. This is no life for you. Money should never be the driving motivation for entering a relationship. This is no life for anyone. If you have chosen a man because of what he can do for you. There are several other factors to take into consideration when selecting a man. Offer to pay for meals and activities from time to time.

You may end up living a fabulous lifestyle as a result of the promise of financial security. Be careful not to pass on a man with great potential. What matters most. Does the thought of this excite you? Follow your heart. If a man happens to be well off in addition to those factors.

He will eventually see through you. A real man will not accept but will note your willingness to share the burden. You should be a helpmate in every way. Be the dowry. What do you have to offer? This increases the chances of success for your relationship.

Recap We should all want to financially improve our lots in life. A woman who offers plenty will always get plenty in return. Section 2 How to Attract Him I am a firm believer that women and men misunderstand one another nearly percent of the time. Men are very simple creatures. Women tend to complicate things with overthinking and emotional excess. Get yourselves together. A woman like that can be tricked into everything from making herself available for booty calls to bankrolling a man without expecting anything in return.

This means having a sense of direction. Those kinds of females make for excellent prey. Defining who you are and what you want in life should not be done for the sole objective of getting a man. Duplicitous men love someone whose mind is malleable.

In order to achieve anything. Chapter Twelve Goals Who are you? Where are you going in life? Where do you want to go? As a woman who exists in a society historically built upon women looking for men to save them. If you fall into this category. If you want to gain and maintain control in your relationships. A woman without focus is just an aimless soul walking the earth.

Men can spot an unsure. This ensures that I go into my new year unburdened by the year before. Each day. Part of planning for those long-term goals is accomplishing the hundreds of short-term goals that will get you there.

Vixen Tip It is important to organize your thoughts and start small if you have to. I sometimes carry unaccomplished tasks over to the next day. In December. Having a strong sense of conviction and refusing to be taken off course are necessary to stay focused and geared toward a better quality of living.

A woman with a clear sight of her goals not only knows what she wants. I mark off the accomplished tasks and move on to the next. I keep track of everything in a yearly planner. Do not let this prevent you from going forward. This goes on for weeks until most everything is done.

Vixen Tip I find it helpful to make a daily list of everything that needs to be done in both my personal and business lives. Once you identify a direction for yourself and lay out a plan for achieving it. We will. Twenty-five is a very significant age for a woman.

A good friend once told me. By this point. I bought this book for the good stuff. By now. But before we do all that. It is a critical mile marker of sorts. What the hell does this have to do with snagging a man.

At the age of twenty-five. Without a sturdy foundation. I had to make a move for the positive. It was a case of either sinking or daring to swim —with strong.

More importantly. So read on. Get to the blowjobs and pole dances. I discovered there were bigger. Know that I only want to impart to you the benefit of my wisdom. You need to fix it in your mind. I began to write feverishly. My point? Crucial topics for your five-year plan should include. Then their judgment will be harsh and unforgiving.

After twenty-five. I believe you should have a clear idea of your life goals as early as high school. Soon after. You have to become obsessed with being whom and what you wish to be. Confessions of a Video Vixen. Seeing his words as a gauntlet—a challenge—rather than a deterrent. Treat it as such. I knew that someone would. I clearly remember when I decided I would make my lifelong dream of being a writer come true. I was kicking around the idea of writing my first book.

His response to my life-changing goal was. Even if your financial resources are limited. Before I had a computer and access to the Internet. God knows. I bought or checked out books on these subjects and started writing—on paper.

Let the adversity and resistance you encounter from others have an energizing effect instead of a depleting one. Approval from others is usually the last thing you will get when your goals are still in the dream phase. Personal fulfillment should be the beacon that motivates you. That attorney is probably still greasing up his lips. Those were the first critical steps to the realization of my dreams.

I wanted to know how to write and sell everything from treatments to screenplays to television shows and books.

If necessary. If I had. I would spend hours at either the public library or at my local bookstore. That was how my career was born. Everything is possible and there is a path around every obstacle. Vixen Tip I would go through magazines. There is no reason to go hungry or be uncomfortable while getting your act together! I had goals.

Emulate those who have been successful in the craft and field you wish to be a part of. These photos represented my future accomplishments and my incentive to move toward my long-term goals.

This desire was a strong motivator. So many of us feel stuck because of our circumstances. I have accomplished all of those goals and have now moved on to others.

These tidbits are just some of my suggestions for becoming a more focused. I wanted a big house. Vixen Tip Spend a lot of time reading about the things and people that interest you.

There were photos of cars. Like many people. I still post pictures. We usually think of teenagers as the ones always taping things all over the house. Be inspired! Utilize your local library and bookstores. It works. Maybe you already know what you have to do to reach your goals. Time is a commodity. Recap In order to achieve anything.

The sooner you get yourself together. By having your goals and a strategy to accomplish them intact. Believe me. Not everyone will be supportive. Your emotions. And although we live in a world that is quick to categorize and demean others based on their behavior.

And as sure as there are differences in our fingerprints. Most of the mores we are told to live by are based upon the double standards of a patriarchal society. While one definition of the word principle has to do with morally correct behavior. If you take that fact out of the equation.

The Vixen Manual

You loved hard. Have you even thought about it before? Most women. No boundaries were set because there had been nothing by which to measure. And as it relates to dating.

As for your principles. Our principles and values play a major part in defining who we are. Chapter Thirteen Principles We all have principles of one kind or another.

I try not to let the morals of others get in the way of my decision making. Who wants to be a pushover. To paraphrase a popular adage. Once you began to experience joy and excitement. These same men then turn around and accuse the women they attracted of being. If you fall for a short. You probably thought you would never get over the pain of that first breakup.

I find it absolutely silly and hypocritical that some men do everything in their power to become financially successful and acquire all the trappings that indicate their wealth a big house or an apartment. The only way to avert this kind of serial situation is to be clear about what you want and what fits within the guidelines of your life. How would your home look? What kind of furniture would you have? Would it be the same as what you have now?

Would you have your dirty panties and socks scattered all over the floor. Would that tub of Breyer's Double Vanilla ice cream still be melting all over your end table? And what about your bed? Would the same sheets from three weeks ago still be on your mattress? Would a man be thrilled to be in your home right now, at this very minute? By nature, and in theory, the males of most species set the atmosphere in which the relationship and family will be run.

While this suggests that you should not be defiant when taking your cues from him, it does not mean that you should not participate in establishing that atmosphere. Once your man has set the initial tone of things, and that tone does not conflict with your personal ethics and values, you can then set your own tone within those parameters, ultimately integrating it with his.

In a Vixen Tip, Steffans sets forth the scenario of a man coming home late and you sitting home waiting. She explains that you have gained leverage in the relationship because he violated the rules between the two of you. So what should you do? Welcome him with a warm embrace. Take off his shoes. Help undress him and get him tucked into bed, even asking if he needs anything before falling asleep.

Whatever you do, just smile and play your position — that of a woman who has been steadfast and true to her role in the relationship. If you do anything other than this, you'll only relinquish your upper hand and sabotage the hard work you have done thus far in gaining a respectful position in the household. To paraphrase an old popular song, "What have you done for him lately? It can be something as trivial as picking up after him as he rushes out the door on his way to work, tossing the boxers and socks he left on the bathroom floor into the hamper.

She strongly advocates not accepting any type of abuse that a man wants to dish out, and advocates for dating realistically as a parent. The wisdom that comes with age should be the very reason you don't fall for the same tricks you did when you were a more impressionable twenty-something. Revel in the liberation that comes with knowing better by declaring I'm too old for this shit!

When some man tries to step to you with a half-assed hustle that was sure to work on you a decade ago. What, you've never heard of financial abuse?

You probably have, even though you might not have given it a name. It's a very real form of a abuse when a man uses his position as the breadwinner to control you and your lifestyle. He'll remind you at every turn that everything around you is his and there by the grace of his generosity. You'll constantly be told that it's his money that keeps it all together. He'll start dictating what you do and when you do it, and if you are resistant, there will be a penalty.

It may be something small, like not giving you money for something you really want while he overindulges in all his desires, rubbing it in your face that he is the gatekeeper. Your child should be included in the decision of bringing a man into your family. When children aren't included, they often act out and you end up having two separate relationships — one with your lover and one with your child, which is the mistake I made and explained above.

It is imperative to make sure to date only men who want to have children, are fans of and champions for them. To do otherwise will create tremendous drama, frustration, and conflict for you, your man, and your child. Steffans doesn't appear to be sure how much of a Vixen she wants you to be. Still, he is fun to be with and gives you something number one does not. When each one calls, address them by their number instead of their names once in a while, just for sport.

Her ideas on self-care and pampering "take a bath in milk and rose petals" are well needed, as reminders to slow down and treat yourself nicely in this crazy world. Unfortunately, this too is presented in the context of doing right by your man.

Ultimately, the Vixen Manual is a mixed bag.

TRULA from Minnesota
Review my other articles. One of my hobbies is owning an antique car. I do relish rightfully.