SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY EBOOK
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GET and READ this "Leaked Information" of Save My Marriage Today eBook ( PDF) by Amy Waterman & Andrew Rusbatch, before You decide to Purchase the . Discover the truth and the facts about Save My Marriage Today™ PDF, eBook by Amy Waterman & Andrew Rusbatch. Happy reading. Save my marriage today pdf book FreeThe author of Save My Marriage Today, Amy Waterman has based this book on her own vastknowledge.
I never forget anything my spouse has done to me. I often talk over my spouse.
I resent my spouse for comments that he or she has made in the past. I want to win every argument, not reach a solution. If my spouse misinterprets what I said, I get angry. If something that my spouse does bothers me, we have an argument about it. My attention often wanders when my spouse is talking to me.
My spouse is too sensitive to what I say. When we have an argument, I often end up yelling, crying, or storming out of the house. Nevertheless, bad communication can destroy a marriage.
Replace criticism with praise, Replace accusations with attempts at understanding, Replace talking with listening, Replace defensiveness with openness, and Replace silence with sharing,.
As a result, the communication gap grows wider. Neither person will confess what it is that is worrying them. Soon, differences feel irreconcilable.
If you want to get your spouse to open up and break the silence barrier, there are a few things you need to do. We all have negative feelings about our spouse or our relationships from time to time. In many marriages, partners zip their. In other marriages, partners react angrily towards their spouse and express their feelings through criticism and verbal abuse.
Neither option makes for a healthy marriage. You can get your spouse to open up to you again by creating an environment in which he or she feels comfortable talking.
Tactics not to try include: Accusing your partner of giving you the silent treatment. Getting angry at them for not contributing their part to the conversation.
Instead, what you need to do is: Practice your own listening skills. Cultivate an attitude of non-judgmental acceptance. This means that you unconditionally love and accept your partner, no matter what he or she says. If you often respond defensively or critically when your partner shares his or her thoughts and feelings, you are actually punishing your partner for opening up to you.
Sometimes, we just need to be heard, and it feels better knowing that our partner has listened to us all the way through without criticizing or condemning us. Learn how to apologize and mean it.
One apology, meant sincerely, goes a long way. Listen carefully, without criticism or a knee-jerk self-defense. If you are too upset to think clearly, tell your partner that you appreciate hearing about his or her concern, but that you need time to think it over. If you come to the conclusion that what your partner has told you has some truth in it, apologize clearly and directly.
I am sorry for having made you feel like you did. Making opening up to one another a positive experience. It may sound wishywashy or fuzzy, but verbally thanking one another for sharing thoughts and feelings is valuable positive reinforcement. Every time your partner shares something, no matter how little, express your gratitude.
I like knowing more about you. It makes me feel closer to you. In my complete book, Save My Marriage Today! Discuss these with your spouse and agree on them together.
Abuse and physical violence will not be tolerated. If things get too hot, take a break or take a walk. Avoid assigning blame. Be honest. When someone is upset, they can say or do things that make it worse.
Focus on resolving the issue—not winning the argument. Think negotiation, not competition. Explain yourself. No bringing up hurtful events from the past. Stay in the present. No going to sleep on an argument. No name-calling. Once an argument is resolved, forgive and forget. The Silent Poison: Resentment When hurt piles upon hurt, it is easy to feel as you and your spouse are in a competition where the more you can hurt the other person, the more points you get. There are several things you can do.
I suggest consciously counteracting every negative feeling with positive acts of love, affection, and respect. You should also learn how to talk to your partner about your feelings in a neutral, non-accusatory, calm way.
Negative feelings expressed in anger or as a knee-jerk reaction grow and become worse. Part 5: Lack of Commitment: Why Do We Marry? Historically, marriage has been seen as necessary protection for child-rearing families. Seventy percent of Americans believe that the purpose of marriage is something other than raising kids. Today, only one third of American households include children under the age of 18, compared to about half of all households in the s. When a couple does have children together, the presence of children does not have the same kind of deterrent effect on divorce as it did forty years ago.
In the past, another reason to stay married was because of economic dependence. Marriage used to provide a form of economic security. Today, young people do not believe that a marriage provides any form of economic security. Yet today fewer and fewer couples share a religious view of marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman before God. Currently, there is less social disapproval of divorce or extended periods of singledom than ever. Unfortunately, this couple-oriented focus can create huge expectations and pressures.
Couples have a much lower tolerance for unhappiness than in the past. In fact, they are abandoning marriage at much lower thresholds of dissatisfaction. Sadly, marriages that have an underlying feeling of discontentment can and often do get better over time. Challenges to Commitment Modern couples have a whirlwind of duties to juggle: By the time you throw in commitments to family, social engagements with friends, personal hobbies, gym time, and the rest, the modern couple has very little time for one another.
Obviously, your level of commitment must be divided among a number of things, but what level of commitment should you give to each? Try drawing a pie chart with each section labeled according to the amount of time you dedicate to it. Ask your spouse to do the same. Afterwards, discuss whether the balance of commitments is healthy.
If you would rather be at work than at home, or spend your leisure time with your workmates rather than your spouse, your marriage is on rocky terrain. They claim that their hard work is helping keep the marriage together by providing an income. As much joy and pleasure children can bring to a marriage, they also test the marital bonds by creating stressful situations. Children can pit parent against parent. Their behavior can cause a tense family environment that neither partner wants to come home to.
They can demand enormous amounts of energy and leave none for anyone else. The child-rearing years can also be dangerous for couples because the focus of the marital unit switches from the pleasure of being a couple to raising the children. Make time for being a couple. This often occurs when parents of one or both spouses are getting older and in need of extra assistance. Spouses should not let anyone get between them.
If your spouse resents the amount of time you spend with a needy parent or friend, you need to have a discussion and come to some sort of resolution about what amount of time would be aprpropriate. Any crisis where one partner is completely responsible for the resolution of the problem, with no input or assistance from the other partner.
For example, your spouse may spend all of his or her spare time at the bar, on the computer, or in the garage tinkering.
These activities are not a problem until they become an escape mechanism to avoid spending time with you or engaging in conversation.
One common problem occurs when one spouse surfs the internet until late at night. When they go to bed, their spouse is already asleep, which increases the alienation between the two parties.
Hobbies are wonderful in moderation, but they should never become your primary source of pleasure. Find activities that you can do with your spouse. Part 6: Growing Apart: In Part 1, I told you that marriages either grow or weaken. If you are not communicating, not touching, and not spending time together, then you are growing apart. Do you know the one book or CD your partner would want to have if he or she were stranded on a deserted island? Do you know what his or her favorite color is?
Do you know exactly what your spouse does at work? Getting to know someone truly, inside and out, takes effort. Most of us prefer learning more about our own preferences, opinions, and ideas than those of our spouse. They appreciate, understand, and respect that information.
Growing together means sharing together. A healthy marriage is one in which both people mature and change their ideas, perspectives, and plans.
The trick is to share those changes openly and honestly with your spouse as they occur. Even when your new direction seems to lead in an opposite direction from your spouse, it is usually just old perceptions that makes it seem that way. Reassure your spouse. Whatever new direction you take, you need to involve your spouse fully and ensure that nothing will cut into your couple time. Changes are frightening, but when there is communication, honesty, and willingness to compromise at every step of the way, change can be an enormously positive thing.
She found herself gaining weight, getting bored, and listening enviously to her single girlfriends about their adventurous jobs and. That night, she told Michael that she wanted to go back to work and try a three-month subscription to a gym. They had a huge argument, and Michael forbade Joan to go job-hunting.
The stress in their marriage was at a breaking point. It took the intervention of their pastor before Joan and Michael could sit down and discuss their feelings without getting upset. Joan told Michael that she needed to keep growing and trying more out of life, but that she wanted to do it with him, not without him.
Michael confessed that he worried that Joan would meet someone new if she started working outside the home. Their pastor encouraged both of them to continue talking openly and honestly and involve each other as their life changed.
As a result, Michael decided to join the gym along with Joan. Too, the extra income gave them more money to go out and do activities that they enjoyed. Ultimately, the change that Michael feared actually strengthened their marriage. Michael and Joan learned some valuable lessons.
Reassuring your partner is essential during this tough time. Are We Incompatible? The question is whether those differences are enough to break your marriage apart or just right to add the spice to your marriage.
Chances are that the differences between you and your partner sparked your interest and made each one of you fascinating to the other. Major incompatibilities involve more fundamental areas, like your values, goals, and vision for your marriage. This is why cross-cultural relationships can be so challenging. Differences in the importance you assign to religion, work, family, free time, children, and money.
Differences in how you spend, save, and manage money. Differences in your ideas about whether you should have children and how many. If you have children already, differences in your ideas on how to raise them. Differences in how often you prefer sex and the kind of sex you enjoy.
Differences in your expectations about gender roles. Differences in the types of friends you enjoy. Differences in how you prefer to spend your spare time. If you are at the point in your marriage where you think that you and your partner have become completely incompatible, it is worthwhile to invest in a marriage counselor.
Counseling is much cheaper than a divorce and provides a neutral environment where both partners feel comfortable opening up and examining their true feelings. The Importance of Reading Your Partner After living with someone for a long period of time, we learn a lot about their moods, their facial expressions, and the subtle nuances of communication that a stranger would not be able to pick up.
Save My Marriage Today
Try the following game. At least six times during the day, look at your partner and try to guess what emotion he or she is feeling. If possible, pick a time when neither of you are saying anything. Notice his or her lips: Notice the eyes: Notice clues in posture stiff, slumped, relaxed and how he or she holds his or her arms crossed in front, loose at sides, on lap. Often, your partner will say one thing but be feeling another. This is not because your partner is lying to you; it may be because your partner wants to deny his or her feelings to him- or herself.
If you think that your partner is worried, upset, or tense, set the stage for your partner to feel comfortable sharing with you using the techniques you learned in Part 4. Tell your partner that you noticed they seemed tired or upset and ask them if they want to talk about it. If we ourselves are tired or upset, sometimes the last thing we want to do is notice that our partner is tired or upset, too. Our own emotions can make us blind to the emotions of our partner.
Many marriages end during this time. It is a trial for any marriage, and navigating through it will require all of the communication, love, and intimacy skills you possess. I recommend personal counseling at this time so that your spouse can discuss his or her priorities, regrets about the past, and how he or she envisions the future.
Allow your spouse to talk openly, even if what he or she says is critical of the life you have shared together. The more your spouse can share his or her thoughts and feelings, the closer he or she will feel to you as the only one who understands what he or she is going through.
A strong and healthy marriage requires effort, dedication, and commitment. The information contained in this book is provided 'as is' without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall Unica Design Ltd be liable for any consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book.
The information in this book is intended as an informative guide only, and does not guarantee the successful resolution of your marriage problem.
Most marital problems are caused by ineffective interpersonal skills, such as miscommunication and poor conflict resolution, and being negligent when it comes to establishing priorities. Your marriage is only as strong as the investment that you make in it.
But if you want to put your marriage at the top of your priority list, learn how to resolve conflicts rather than make yourself feel better, and cope with crises as a team, then your marriage will defy statistics! Though we have different approaches to solving the things that go wrong in a marriage, we agree on one thing: Page In this book we give you some sample problems that married couples experience. Then, we offer you some theoretical background to understand it.
This book can change your life … but only if you decide to use it. Chapter 1. But before you begin the life-changing material ahead, take a few moments to think about what you want out of the chapters that follow. Ask yourself: Why did you purchase this book? Did any specific incidents or feelings lead you to look for material on saving a marriage?
If you came to this book seeking to save your own marriage, you should be congratulated. The first lesson in this book is that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Like anything good, marriage involves commitment, hard work, and perseverance through the dark stages.
You must expect to put in more than a token gesture every once in a while. You must make a small effort every single day.
Marriages, like people, grow and develop. What Do You Hope to Achieve? If you expect to read this book and discover that your marriage has been saved once you put it down, you are mistaken. Reading this book should be only the beginning. Only you can take the next step. You may be reading this book because you have a specific problem in your marriage that you want to address.
Perhaps your husband watches the television more than he talks to you. Perhaps you have problem with your partner taking the side of your in-laws instead of being loyal to you.
There is always more to troubled relationships than what first appears. Marriage problems are seldom a result of one issue; rather, they are more likely a result of layers upon layers of underlying conflicts and insecurities that have led to the problems that you are having now. We suggest that you read this book with an open mind and consider any aspect of your marriage that could be improved. You may find, for example, that increasing intimacy leads to less conflicts, or that adjusting your expectations leads to greater acceptance of your partner.
Before you start the book, it would be valuable to take the time to list your goals. We believe that all marriage problems involve both individuals. Without a plan, your mind may wander, you may get distracted, and you may finish reading with many thoughts but no concrete achievements. Your goals need to focus on a future outcome rather than the negativity of the past.
This book will help you look at your situation with fresh eyes. Nevertheless, we recommend that you set your gaze forwards instead of backwards, towards a time in your future when you both will have acknowledged how what you did hurt one another, understood why it happened, expressed regret, forgiven, and moved on.
You Are Not Alone Remember, too, that you are not alone. You may look around at other married couples and assume that everyone else is happy in their relationship. Every marriage has conflicts. The only difference between a successful married couple and a divorced one is how committed they are to dealing with those conflicts. They seek ways to deal with disagreements before the marriage gets rocky. Most couples are not that committed. The rate of divorced couples is growing every year, as couples find themselves unable to deal with the complexity of merging two active lives, the natural dips in feelings of love, and incompatibility issues.
In fact, the chance of a first marriage failing in the first 40 years is currently at around 65 percent, and the rate of divorce in second marriages is even higher. No one ever said that marriage would be easy.
But every couple will reach a crossroads where they must ask whether they want to commit to consciously connecting with each other, every day for the rest of their lives—or take the easy route of permanent separation. Legally, emotionally, and materially, divorce takes a large toll. There will be steep lawyer fees, the division of assets, fights and arguments, and in some cases the arrangement of custody of your children.
Worst of all is the sense that the marriage has failed. When you married with such loving hope, it seems sad to wonder if it truly had to end like this. Taking into account the sobering nature of divorce statistics and the number of unhappily married couples, chances are that at some stage in your marriage you will have some significant problems.
Thus, it is especially important that you develop appropriate methods for dealing with conflicts now. Deal with small issues before they become big ones.
If you diligently practice the exercises in this book, you are much more likely to save your marriage from becoming a statistic. Healthy for Life If you are seeking reasons to save your marriage, look no further than your own health.
Save My Marriage Today Free Pdf - Save My Marriage Today
There are also significant health benefits to staying married. People in long-term marriages tend to experience better health and live four years longer on average. Marriage provides a boost to the immune system, a cushion against depression, and even makes you less likely to die from causes ranging from heart disease to car accidents. Married individuals also tend to have higher incomes than single individuals, as well as being more responsible in managing their money.
With so much to lose, how can you afford to throw your marriage away? Learn Valuable Life Skills As you and your partner learn conflict resolution, better communication, active listening, and other interpersonal skills, you will find that you will deal with people in your everyday life more successfully. The source of life happiness starts at home.
Thus, when you experience fewer marital conflicts, you will find yourself in a better mood wherever you may be. So many conflicts in marriages are a result of nothing more serious than miscommunication. Misunderstandings get compounded by an inability to express feelings of hurt and resentment, let those feelings go, and move on with life. Sometimes, what triggers an argument bears no relation to what the fight is actually about.
Yet as you learn to resolve minor disagreements the moment they appear, you will find that the small issues will no longer fester in the back of your mind. Your partner, feeling a sense of solidarity with you in the project of your life together, will feel closer to you and more open. Intimacy will flourish. Exercise 1—Do Yourself We cannot underscore the importance of setting goals enough.
The process of learning and developing the skills necessary to facilitate a resolution and a rebuilding of love and trust between you and your partner will be long and difficult.
At times, you may despair. Make Them Specific You want to get back with your partner. You want to save your marriage. Those are excellent intentions, but they are not goals.
Goals must be specific. Write down anything that pops into your head. We will take the time to examine them as we go along. Some suggestions are: Increase the level of communication with your spouse. Rebuild your trust. Feel more loved. Feel more appreciated. Spend more quality time together. Be listened to by your partner. A more fulfilling sex life. To feel special.
Keep this sheet of paper. Once you decide which goals are most important to begin, write down concrete actions that you can take to accomplish each goal.
Reserve a half hour after work to talk with one another without distraction. Wash the dishes together. Why not share! An annual anal Embed Size px. Start on. Show related SlideShares at end.
Steve Follow. Published in: Self Improvement. Full Name Comment goes here. Are you sure you want to Yes No. Be the first to like this. By Ed F isher. Amy has saved literally thousands of marriages and this ebook and system is recommended by none other than Dr. Lee Baucom of Save The Marriage fame. I was very impressed with this course — it is so much more than just a book. I am preparing my own in depth review but in the meantime I have uploaded a review by guest reviewer Mike Mandelson that I think covers all the bases.
Make sure you click through to the website to see all of the current extras being offered. This system is a great investment in your marriage put together by people who really know their stuff. That was, until recently when I met Amy Waterman. At first I was skeptical, but I thought, hey, I have friends who are in bad marriages, and this information might be good for one of them, so I decided to read it closely and see what insights it could offer me about reconnecting and improving relationships.
This book applies to couples young and old. No matter what your marriage situation, if you are male or female, or how many years you have been married, there are tips and tools that can assist every couple with developing sound communication and conflict resolution techniques.
Nobody said marriage was ever going to be easy, and if they did, they were lying. In an ideal world we would sit and talk about these changes and differences in a calm and rational manner, and establish an outcome and move on. Its all too easy to get caught up in the moment and let things deteriorate to the point where you are both wondering why you are still in it.
Amy has developed a course that encourages couples to break the ice and develop ways to interact and strengthen their failing relationship.
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